Remote Superiority
by PurtFiend
Summary: Here are our two heros once again at odds with each other. They both want the TV remote. Kurt is self-righteous, Puck is being a jerk. Just an excuse to write some sexy slash.


**I don't own Glee. Reviews are wonderful they keep me going!**

Remote Superiority

"Backup! You've just passed "Project Runway, I wanna see that!" pleaded Kurt sitting up straight looking over at the mohawked boy slouched on the couch beside him.

"Well I don't and I have the remote." Replied Puck as he continued to move through the channels."

"This is my house and therefore that is my remote so hand it over Puckerman!"

"Some host you are – I'm the guest so I get the remote and get to choose the TV station."

"Guest? You're an interloper! You came over here to watch the game with Finn, it's not like I invited you over here."

"Finn did though. When I told him our part of the town had no power he invited me over to watch the game. I didn't know he was so pussy-whipped that he was going to take off in the middle just 'cause Rachael phoned him."

"The game is finished so go home to your powerless little hovel and let me watch Project Runway in peace."

"It's probably a rerun. Hey, let's watch the golf channel."

"Give me that remote now!" shouted Kurt trying to grab it out of Puck's hand.

"Do you want it?" Laughed Puck easily keeping it out of Kurt's reach. "Come and get it Hummel."

"Let me have it! You lumbering Neanderthal!" Kurt started to climb over Puck to reach the remote his out-stretched hand.

"You fight like girl! You're such a prancy feather weight." Puck teased keeping the remote at bay.

"Give me the remote or I swear I'll…"

"You'll what? Burst into tears? Have a big fairy hissy-fit?" laughing Puck looked up at Kurt, his eyes full of mischief, daring him to do something. While they were horsing around Puck ended up lying with his back on the couch and Kurt had managed to clamber on top of him. The remote was in Puck's hand which was still out-stretched over the edge of the couch. Kurt couldn't move any further to reach it because Puck's other arm was across Kurt's chest holding him at bay.

"Give it to me or I'll – I'll…" Kurt had to rack his brain to try and think of some threat that would make Puck give up the remote. The jock was bigger, stronger and obviously enjoying this little power-play that was developing. An evil smile suddenly graced Kurt's lips; he knew exactly what to threaten to make the Puck drop the remote like a hot potato. "If you don't give me the remote in ten seconds…" Kurt ordered "I will kiss you on the lips and make you gay."

"Oh, my God! You wouldn't dare!" Puck responded overly dramatically then chuckled.

"I mean it Puck! I'll press my big faggy lips against yours and kiss you totally gay!" Kurt then puckered up and made kissy sounds to show he was deadly serious.

"You can kiss me until I'm totally flaming. I'm not giving you the remote."

"You asked for it!" Kurt tried to get closer to Puck's face but Puck's arm was still blocking him so Kurt started to kiss the jock's hand and arm."

"Ahhhh!" yelled Puck theatrically "My arm's gone gay! Look how limp-wristed it is." Puck demonstrated by moving his arm and letting his hand flop around in a very effeminate manner.

Kurt snickered but took the opportunity to quickly move up to Puck's face.

"10, 9, 8, 7, give me the remote or else…" Kurt warned," 6, 5, 4,…" Puck still did not relinquish the remote. "3, 2, 1! You asked for it!"

Kurt swooped down and started to kiss Puck. The soprano kept missing Puck's lips because the larger boy and kept moving his head side to side. His eyes were clamped shut and his lips were so firmly pressed together there wasn't even a sliver of lip showing. Kurt started kissing Puck all over his face as the jock evaded him, in the hopes of getting Puck's lips. He then thought up something truly dastardly. The Soprano dragged his tongue right along Puck's clamped mouth in a long sloppy lick.

"Aghh!" gasped Puck. His eyes shot open in surprise and his mouth gaped open. Kurt quickly smashed his lips down on Puck's for a big slobbery kiss. Kurt raised his head up and looked triumphant.

"Give me the remote now or I'll do it again."

"You call that a kiss!" Puck challenged, "That didn't even make me 10% gay."

Kurt huffed, totally indignant. How dare the jock criticize his kisses. He swooped down again, but this time Puck stayed where he was so Kurt easily met with his lips. Kurt kissed him much more passionately and thoroughly. "Puck!" Kurt exclaimed as he quickly broke the kiss. "You just tongued me!"

"Just fighting back, fire against fire." Grinned Puck

Kurt wasn't stupid. He knew an invitation when he heard one and he quickly moved in to devour Puck's lips. They both fought for superiority using their mouths, tongues and teeth, kissing, licking, and nipping.

At one point, Kurt gasped and arched his back as Puck ground his pelvis into Kurt's aroused groin. Kurt felt Puck's hard erection against his own. He looked down at Puck with a questioning expression.

Puck simply shrugged and said. "I guess your kisses turned me gay for you Kurt." Kurt looked uncertain, "Do you want to stop?"

Puck grabbed Kurt's ass with both hands and bucked his hips up into Kurt's groin. "Do you?" He asked coyly.

"Hell no!" Kurt breathed "Take your shirt off. I want to feel your body". Puck quickly obliged pulling his shirt off and helping Kurt out with his.

Kurt kissed and sucked Puck's nipples, pecs and abs while constantly grinding his hips into Puck. He latched onto Puck's nipple ring and started licking and nipping at the darker skin that held the ring.

"Stop!" Puck gasped and squirmed out from under the smaller boy and sat up on the couch. Kurt bit down on his disappointment as he figured Puck suddenly realized that what he was doing was something kinda gay and wanted to leave. Instead, Puck surprised him by quickly unzipping his fly and tugging off his pants. Kurt followed suit and soon both boys were lying on the couch again, this time with Kurt on the bottom. After some rather heated passionate kissing, Puck raised himself off Kurt and onto his knees so he could gain some access to Kurt's erect cock. Kurt, not to be outdone, grabbed Puck's throbbing member.

"Whoever lasts the longest gets the remote." Puck breathed in Kurt's ear.

The two boys set to work on each other frantically…

* * *

"I can't believe you lost the remote." sighed Kurt removing the cushions from the couch. "My Dad will kill me."

"It's gotta be somewhere. I was preoccupied and didn't notice where it went." Puck answered smiling at Kurt from behind the piece of furniture.

Kurt returned the smile with a huge grin as he looked down at the boy on all fours peaking under the couch. He still could feel the lingering after effects of the lovemaking. The sex was really hot and he was thrilled that he actually made Puck come first. Kurt smirked when he thought back to how he bested him. While they were rolling about on the couch Kurt squirmed away from Puck's very talented hands and pushed the bigger boy back on the couch. Before Puck realized what was happening Kurt was between his legs and taking the jock's hard shaft in his mouth. Puck cried "no fair" and tried to buck him off but Kurt clung on like a stubborn limpet. Puck was soon moaning as Kurt licked and sucked until the jock finally gave in and climaxed. Puck soon got his revenge however, by teasing and tormenting Kurt until he came long and very loudly. Kurt blushed at his response to his climax, it was such a long and lusty note, much like hitting a high C, it was so embarrassing. He was glad his Dad and Carol weren't in the house, because they would probably have called 911, thinking Kurt was being murdered downstairs. But the best part for him was the after glow when they lay together in each other's arms giggling and chatting about nothing in particular.

Everything was absolutely blissful until Kurt asked for the remote and Puck had no idea where it was. They quickly got dressed and started searching. Kurt glanced at Puck again as he continued to search the area around the couch. _God_, he hoped this wasn't just a one time thing_. __Would Puck want to do this again?_ Kurt sighed and kept searching. _Who was he kidding, Puck is straight._

"Found it!" shouted Puck triumphantly

"Great! Give it here."

"Finders keepers. Losers weepers. Princess." Puck smirked as he held the remote just out of Kurt's reach.

"Hold on a minute! You're the loser, you came first!" Kurt argued.

"Too bad I've got the remote and I'm not giving it back! All's fair in love and war. Fairy drawers!"

"No fair! Give me that remote you pea-brained ape!" Kurt huffed

"No fair!" Puck repeated in a irritating high-pitched whiney voice. "If you want it! Homo Hummel" Puck teased, "Come and get it!"

"Oh you'll be getting it, Pervy Puckerman!" Kurt answered, advancing on the waiting, laughing mohawked boy.


End file.
